chore(cli): refresh tagline set

This commit is contained in:
Peter Steinberger
2026-03-03 00:17:14 +00:00
parent d7dda4dd1a
commit 8824565c2a

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@@ -63,34 +63,42 @@ const TAGLINES: string[] = [
"I'll butter your workflow like a lobster roll: messy, delicious, effective.",
"Shell yeah—I'm here to pinch the toil and leave you the glory.",
"If it's repetitive, I'll automate it; if it's hard, I'll bring jokes and a rollback plan.",
"Because texting yourself reminders is so 2024.",
"Your inbox, your infra, your rules.",
'Turning "I\'ll reply later" into "my bot replied instantly".',
"The only crab in your contacts you actually want to hear from. 🦞",
"Chat automation for people who peaked at IRC.",
"Because Siri wasn't answering at 3AM.",
"IPC, but it's your phone.",
"The UNIX philosophy meets your DMs.",
"curl for conversations.",
"Less middlemen, more messages.",
"Ship fast, log faster.",
"End-to-end encrypted, drama-to-drama excluded.",
"The only bot that stays out of your training set.",
'WhatsApp automation without the "please accept our new privacy policy".',
"Chat APIs that don't require a Senate hearing.",
"Meta wishes they shipped this fast.",
"Because the right answer is usually a script.",
"Your messages, your servers, your control.",
"OpenAI-compatible, not OpenAI-dependent.",
"iMessage green bubble energy, but for everyone.",
"Siri's competent cousin.",
"Works on Android. Crazy concept, we know.",
"No $999 stand required.",
"We ship features faster than Apple ships calculator updates.",
"Your AI assistant, now without the $3,499 headset.",
"Think different. Actually think.",
"Ah, the fruit tree company! 🍎",
"Greetings, Professor Falken",
"I don't sleep, I just enter low-power mode and dream of clean diffs.",
"Your personal assistant, minus the passive-aggressive calendar reminders.",
"Built by lobsters, for humans. Don't question the hierarchy.",
"I've seen your commit messages. We'll work on that together.",
"More integrations than your therapist's intake form.",
"Running on your hardware, reading your logs, judging nothing (mostly).",
"The only open-source project where the mascot could eat the competition.",
"Self-hosted, self-updating, self-aware (just kidding... unless?).",
"I autocomplete your thoughts—just slower and with more API calls.",
"Somewhere between 'hello world' and 'oh god what have I built.'",
"Your .zshrc wishes it could do what I do.",
"I've read more man pages than any human should—so you don't have to.",
"Powered by open source, sustained by spite and good documentation.",
"I'm the middleware between your ambition and your attention span.",
"Finally, a use for that always-on Mac Mini under your desk.",
"Like having a senior engineer on call, except I don't bill hourly or sigh audibly.",
"Making 'I'll automate that later' happen now.",
"Your second brain, except this one actually remembers where you left things.",
"Half butler, half debugger, full crustacean.",
"I don't have opinions about tabs vs spaces. I have opinions about everything else.",
"Open source means you can see exactly how I judge your config.",
"I've survived more breaking changes than your last three relationships.",
"Runs on a Raspberry Pi. Dreams of a rack in Iceland.",
"The lobster in your shell. 🦞",
"Alexa, but with taste.",
"I'm not AI-powered, I'm AI-possessed. Big difference.",
"Deployed locally, trusted globally, debugged eternally.",
"You had me at 'openclaw gateway start.'",
HOLIDAY_TAGLINES.newYear,
HOLIDAY_TAGLINES.lunarNewYear,
HOLIDAY_TAGLINES.christmas,